My Earthly Desires Have Been Crucified
From a letter to the Romans by Saint Ignatius of Antioch, bishop and martyr (d. c. 107)
My earthly desires have been crucified
Narrated by Frank Dugan, Huntington Beach, California
The delights of this world and all its kingdoms will not profit me. I would prefer to die in Jesus Christ than to rule over all the earth. I seek him who died for us, I desire him who rose for us. I am in the throes of being born again. Bear with me, my brothers; do not keep me from living, do not wish me to die. I desire to belong to God; do not give me over to the world, and do not seduce me with perishable things. Let me see the pure light; when I am there, I shall be truly a man at last. Let me imitate the sufferings of my God. If anyone has God in him, let him understand what I want and have sympathy for me, knowing what drives me on.
The prince of this world would snatch me away and destroy my desire to be with God. So let none of you who will be there give him help; side rather with me, that is, with God. Do not have Jesus Christ on your lips and the world in your hearts. Give envy no place among you. And if, when I get there, I should beg for your intervention, pay no attention to me; no, believe instead what I am writing to you now. For I write to you while I yet live, but I long for death. My earthly desires have been crucified, and there no longer burns in me the love of perishable things, but a living water speaks within me, saying: “Come to the Father.”
I take no delight in corruptible food or in the pleasures of this life. I want the bread of God, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, who was of David’s seed, and for drink I want his blood, the sign of his imperishable love.
I no longer wish to live, as men count life. And I shall have my way, if you wish it so. Wish it, then, so that you too may have God’s favor. With these few words I beg you to believe me. Jesus Christ will make plain to you the Father’s truth. Pray for me that I may reach my goal. I have written to you not prompted by merely human feelings and values, but by God’s purpose for me. If I am to suffer, it will be because you loved me well; if I am rejected, it will be because you hated me.
Remember in your prayers the church of Syria: it now has God for its shepherd instead of me. Jesus Christ alone will be its bishop, along with your love. For myself, I am ashamed to be counted among its members, for I do not deserve it, being the least of all, born out of due time. I greet you from my heart, and so do the churches that have welcomed me in love not as a mere passerby but as the representative of Jesus Christ. Yes, even the churches that were not on my route humanly speaking, though spiritually on the same journey, were there to meet me in city after city.
Source: The Liturgy of the Hours – Office of Readings
Saint Ignatius of Antioch (d. c. 107) was consecrated a bishop by Saint Peter and appointed bishop of Antioch following the death of Evodius, first bishop of the see of Antioch. Ignatius governed for forty years but was arrested under the persecution of Emperor Trajan, condemned to death, and was sent under guard to Rome for execution. The ship he was on traveled along the coast of Asia Minor, then Greece, and finally reached Rome. Wherever the ship touched port, he was greeted by crowds of Christians, but he received ill-treatment by his captors.
He arrived in Rome on December 20, 107. the last day of the public games. He was escorted to the amphitheater and there was killed by lions in the arena. A detailed description of the trip to Rome is provided by Agathopus and a deacon named Philo, who were with him, and who also wrote at his dictation seven letters of instruction to different churches. Knowing he would soon be a martyr, he expresses his willingness to die for Christ. In all these letters, Ignatius gives profound insights to the structure of the Church, marriage, the Trinity, the Incarnation, Redemption, and the Eucharist, which are among the most important of the earliest Christian writings.